We’ve all probably met someone who only thinks about themselves and acts like the world revolves around them. People who exhibit these characteristics can be considered narcissists. Narcissists are people who have inflated egos, lack empathy and have an excessive need for admiration. Based on the characteristics that narcissists possess, they often have hard times maintaining good relationships with those around them. Pechorin from Mikhail Lermontov’s A Hero of Our Time is a prime example of a narcissist. Pechorin is a womanizer who only cares about himself. Due to his narcissistic tendencies, Pechorin pursues Princess Mary, though he has no interest in her and loves another woman named Vera. Like Pechorin, Sanin in Ivan Turgenev’s The Torrents of Spring, is also a narcissist. He feeds off the validation he gets from those around him and is always up for a challenge. Based on their actions, it can be seen that both Pechorin and Sanin’s narcissistic tendencies prevent them from maintaining personal connections as they form relationships solely to serve their ego. Through the portrayal of these two characters, we can see how narcissism can get in the way of forming and keeping meaningful relationships. 

In A Hero of Our Time, we meet Grushnitsky, a friend of Pechorin. When meeting Grushnitsky, Pechorin says, “I have seen through him, and that is why he dislikes me, although outwardly we are on the friendliest of terms…I don’t like him either” (Lermontov 85). Though Pechorin and Grushnitsky both dislike each other, they still remain as “friends.” Grushnitsky even opens up to Pechorin that he likes Princess Mary and wishes to pursue her. Once Pechorin finds out that Grushnitsky is interested in Mary, he immediately starts to think of a plan to win Mary over, while outwardly acting as if he is helping Grushnitsky. Due to the need to feed his ego and show his superiority, he begins to pursue Mary. In his attempt to make her fall in love with him, he also manipulates her into disliking Grushnitsky. After a while, Pechorin and Grushnitsky begin a rivalry over Mary which leads to a duel. What ultimately leads to this duel is when Pechorin finds out that Grushnitsky made up rumors about Pechorin’s presence at Princess Mary’s residence. Throughout the story, Pechorin continuously sabotages Grushnitsky’s chances with Mary because of his need to use others to boost his ego. Through Pechorin’s eyes his actions are always justified but when Grushnitsky creates a rumor out of jealousy, it is not justifiable and requires a duel to the death. Pechorin allows his pride to fuel his energy during the duel which keeps him from realizing that his quest for satisfying his ego has gone out of proportion. He fails to see that he is about to kill his “friend” over a battle that he himself started. Although Pechorin shows no mercy, during the duel Grushnitsky decides not to kill Pechorin as killing his friend is something that would haunt him. While Grushnitsky is sparing Pechorin, Pechorin is not as forgiving as he states, “There is still time: retract your slander and I shall forgive you everything. You did not succeed in fooling me, and my self-esteem is satisfied. Remember, we were friends once…” (Lermontov 154-155). Through this we can see that Pechorin cared more about getting an apology from Grushnitsky rather than the actual duel. Pechorin wanted Grushnitsky to admit defeat and apologize, as it would boost his ego. Without considering his relationship with Grushnitsky, Pechorin ends up killing Grushnitsky to uphold his narcissistic pride. 

        As stated before, Pechorin pursues Princess Mary and makes it a mission for her to fall in love with him. Pechorin pursues Mary to mess with Grushnitsky, and to get the satisfaction of having another woman fall for him while not reciprocating those feelings. Pechorin enjoys being the center of another person’s thoughts and enjoys having control over other’s feelings which leads him to pursue Mary without any true feelings for her. This can be seen when he says, “I never became the slave of the women I loved; on the contrary, I have always gained unconquerable power over their will and heart, with no effort at all…Is it because I never treasured anything too much, while they incessantly feared to let me slip out of their hands?” (Lermontov 101). Pechorin plays a cat and mouse game with women by constantly pushing them away at times, and at other times, pulling them close. He manipulates them and treats them as possessions. By doing this he gets women to fall in love with him while he does not possess the same feelings. Instead by doing this he receives the validation he needs to feed his ego. When the women he pursues express their feelings for him, Pechorin feels as if his work is done as he has made another woman fall in love with him showing his superiority. When Princess Mary says that she can sacrifice anything for the one she loves, she asks Pechorin if he despises her. To this Pechorin responds, “I shall tell you the whole truth. I shall neither justify myself, nor explain my actions. I do not love you” (Lermontov 136). With these harsh words, Pechorin makes it clear that he never had any feelings for Mary and that his sole purpose in courting her was just to get attention and satisfy his ego. Having fulfilled the desire of winning Mary over, Pechorin no longer sees any use for her, and abandons her with the words, “I do not love you.”

         One quality that can be seen in Pechorin is his high consideration for himself, causing him to disregard others. In Identifying and Understanding the Narcissistic Personality by Elsa Ronningstam, she states, “Another aspect of normal narcissism is self-regard…[which]… include[s] the experience of being loved by others as well as having one’s love returned and possessing the love object. While such experiences increase self-regard and self-esteem, being in love, on the contrary, and loving someone else’s challenges or lowers self-regard” (32). In other words, the author is saying that in a normal, healthy relationship, self-regard is placed second to the regard for the loved one. However, people with narcissism hold themselves to the highest regard while not considering the feelings or well-being of others. This can be seen in Pechorin’s relationship with Mary as he disregards her feelings to satisfy his ego. 

         At first glance Sanin from The Torrents of Spring seems very different from Pechorin, who has an outwardly narcissistic personality. Sanin is deemed a hero after he saves Gemma’s brother and duels the drunk officer in her honor. The text states, “He was suddenly possessed by a feeling of pride. A victorious general, returning from the field of battle he has won, could not have looked about him with greater self-satisfaction. Sanin’s demeanour during the duel filled him with enthusiasm. He called him a hero…” (Turgenev 31). Ever since Sanin met Gemma, he was constantly praised by her and her family for being a hero. Because of his narcissism, he feeds off their praise and approval, which is what ultimately leads him to believe he is in love with Gemma. However, Gemma is already engaged prior to meeting Sanin, though it is a business arrangement. While knowing this, Sanin still pursues Gemma because he sees her as a challenge. Thinking that he can take away an engaged woman and make her his own is something that can satisfy his ego which is why he pursues Gemma. This is also why he fought the duel for her honor. While usually it is the fiancé or husband’s place to do so, Sanin wanted to do so to boost his ego in hopes of pursuing Gemma. 

         When Sanin finally seduces Gemma and gets engaged to her, he meets Maria, a flirtatious half-Russian, half-Gipsy woman. Sanin is quickly captivated by Maria’s charm. The text states, “Sanin felt positively irritated; he had never walked so long with Gemma, his darling Gemma … but this lady had simply taken possession of him, and there was no escape!” (Turgenev 63). Sanin had already begun to compare his experience with Maria to his experience with Gemma. Since Gemma was a challenge he was able to conquer, it seems that as soon as a new woman showed up, Sanin changed his sights to a new target. Soon after his engagement to Gemma, Sanin has an affair with Maria. Since Gemma was no longer a challenge to Sanin, he needed someone else to boost his ego. After leaving Gemma for Maria, Sanin tries to seduce Maria but is abandoned by her. After spending forty years alone, Sanin reaches out to Gemma in America, where she is now living as a married woman with five children. He writes to Gemma saying he has realized his wrongdoings and asks for forgiveness. In his letter he states, “You will be doing a good action worthy of your noble soul, and I shall thank you to my last breath…” (Turgenev 81). Sanin in a way tries to manipulate Gemma into forgiving him by saying it would be like a good deed if she did so. He uses this manipulation to validate himself for taking action in asking her for forgiveness. Weeks later, it was rumored that Sanin was preparing to move to America to visit Gemma. Here, it can be seen that Sanin prioritizes his need for closure with Gemma, while disregarding how she may feel. Even after 40 years, he believes that he is entitled to another chance with Gemma and to validate these feelings he is even willing to go to America. Like Pechorin, in this situation, Sanin disregards Gemma’s emotions, and only thinks about how he feels, showing how narcissists prioritize their needs over others without considering how it may affect others. 

         After using women to boost their egos, both Pechorin and Sanin end up alone. Because of their narcissism, they are unable to maintain a relationship with those around them. In “Loneliness contributes to self-centeredness for sake of self-preservation,” the author states, “If you get more self-centered, you run the risk of staying locked in to feeling socially isolated.” In other words, the article says that those who are self-centered, such as those with narcissistic qualities, have a higher chance of being secluded from others. This is because once they use others to satisfy their egos, they push these people away, as they no longer see a use for them. They do not consider the needs or emotions of the opposite party leading them to becoming socially isolated. This is clearly seen in both Pechorin and Sanin’s cases as they use Mary and Gemma, respectively, to satisfy their egos and once they feel this satisfaction, they push the women away. After they discard the women, they are ultimately left alone as their narcissism got in the way of them keeping these relationships. 

         Through Pechorin and Sanin, it can be seen that individuals with narcissistic tendencies are unable to maintain relationships- whether they be with friends or romantic interests. Their narcissistic tendencies of high self-regard with no consideration for others leads them to only use people to satisfy their egos, and then abandon them and move on to the next person. Although each new person that the narcissists pursue are seen as a challenge to them, in reality, moving from one person to another is causing social isolation in these narcissists. The narcissists may think they have many acquaintances around them because they have interacted with many people, but they actually have no true relationships as they do not treat the other party as equal to themselves. This ultimately leaves them to be alone as they move from one person to another, causing the person being pushed away to feel abandoned and not close to the narcissist at all. It is important for people to recognize these signs of narcissism in those around them. Noticing these characteristics and signs, allows you to protect yourself and not get manipulated by those with narcissistic qualities. Unfortunately, people like Grushnitsky and Mary, as well as Gemma, fell victim to a narcissist, leading to heartbreak and even in some cases death. 

Works Cited

Lermontov, Mikhail. A Hero of Our Time. 1840. 

Turgenev, Ivan. The Torrents of Spring. 1872. 

“Loneliness contributes to self-centeredness for sake of self-preservation.” NewsRx Health & Science, 2 July 2017, p. 112. Gale Academic OneFile, https://link.gale.com/apps/doc/A496765024/AONE?u=cuny_ccny&sid=AONE&xid=75d70acf. Accessed 12 Dec. 2020. 

Ronningstam, Elsa F. Identifying and Understanding the Narcissistic Personality. Oxford University Press, Incorporated, 2005. 

Love is an emotion that everyone has felt at least once in their life, whether it was towards a family member, friend or significant other. Although it is a universal emotion, we each experience love differently. This makes love a very studied topic as the question of where love stems from or how feelings of love are formed are often asked. In Benedict Carey’s The Brain in Love, Carey focuses on the role that biology plays in the matter of attraction. The author argues that love is like being addicted to drugs as there is a biological role in love. Carey provides different studies on why he believes that romantic attraction is a biologically based human drive.

            Throughout the text, Carey explains how biological factors account for the insanity of passionate love. He says that while lust is what makes humans initially attracted to others, the drive for romance is what allows us to focus on one person (Carey 400). An anthropologist named Hellen Fisher, who conducted many studies of the human brain stated that “What we’re seeing here is the biological drive to choose a mate, to focus on one person to the exclusion of all others” (Carey 401). Fisher’s conclusions from her studies support Carey’s idea that forming a romantic relationship is based on the drive for romance. Scientists conducted studies using magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) to look into the brains of college students who were in the early stages of love. With these studies they found direct evidence that the “neural mechanisms of romantic attraction are distinct from those of sexual attraction and arousal” (Carey 400). In other words, they found that in the brain, romantic attraction works differently than arousal. Through this we can see that the brain differentiates the feelings of love and lust. Carey mentions a study conducted by Andreas Bartels and Semir Zeki from University College London who took more than 3,000 brain scans of 18 college students who were recently in love. These scans showed that the brain has “high concentration of receptors for dopamine, the chemical messenger closely tied to states of euphoria, craving and addiction” (Carey 401). They then compared these scans to scans of people in different emotional states, such as sexual arousal, feelings of happiness and cocaine induced euphoria. They found that the patterns for romantic love were unique, but there was some proximity and overlaps between love and the other emotional states. These studies all support Carey’s idea that love has a biological basis as the brain produces higher concentrations of dopamine when in love. 

            Carey’s essay provides different studies that support his claim that love has a biological basis. These studies made me agree with his thesis as they provided statistics and drew conclusions that seemed plausible. I think Carey could have provided more evidence from other studies to even further support his thesis. Though the studies provided did help prove his point, if there was even more evidence, his claim would have been even stronger. The information presented in the essay helps us to better understand the concept of love. While some may think love is just an emotion that they can control, it is actually a biological process that occurs in the brain. 

            The ideas presented in this article can be seen in many literary texts. These ideas can also help us understand the actions of certain characters in readings showing us why they are making the decisions they make. For instance, in Mikhael Lermontov’s A Hero of Our Time – Princess Mary, we meet Pechorin, a narcissistic womanizer who only cares about himself. Due to his narcissistic tendencies, Pechorin pursues Princess Mary, whom he has no interest in. Although Pechorin makes an effort to pursue Princess Mary, he is ultimately led back to Vera, his true love. Through his pursuance of Princess Mary we do not see much of Pechorin’s emotions, however once he realizes that Vera will be leaving far away with her husband he is thrown into a frenzy as he desperately tries to reach her. Once he realizes that he cannot reach Vera, he breaks down (Lermentov 158). Through this we see the depth of his love and for the first time his actions are not based off of his narcissism. As mentioned before in The Brain in Love, Benedict Carey states, “While lust makes our eye wander, they say, it’s the drive for romance that allows us to focus on one particular person, though we often can’t explain why” (400). This can be seen through Pechorin. Though it was his narcissism rather than lust that led him to pursue Mary, his love and biological drive for romance ultimately led him back to Vera. Although it seemed that he had his sight set on Princess Mary, the mechanism of love that is innately in humans causes him to see that he had a true romantic attraction towards Vera. 

            Although it is not widely known, there is a lot of evidence that suggests that feelings of love stem from biological processes in the brain. This is proved throughout Benedict Carey’s article. Carey provides different studies that show how our brain has biological factors that affect romantic attraction. This idea can also be seen in various literary texts which further proves its accuracy. Though we may think love and our emotions is something we can control, it is scientifically proven that romantic attraction is a biologically based human drive meaning we cannot control it. 

Works Cited

Carey, Benedict. The Brain in Love. Los Angeles Times, 16 December 2002.

Lermontov, Mikhail. A Hero of Our Time. 1840. 

We’ve all probably met someone who only thinks about themselves and acts like the world revolves around them. People who exhibit these characteristics can be considered narcissists. Narcissists are people who have inflated egos, lack empathy and believe that they are superior to everyone. Based on the characteristics that narcissists possess, they often have hard times maintaining good relationships with those around them. Pechorin from Mikhail Lermontov’s A Hero of Our Time, is a prime example of a narcissist. Pechorin is a womanizer who only cares about himself. Due to his narcissistic tendencies, Pechorin pursues Princess Mary, though he has no interest in her and loves another woman named Vera. Based on Pechorin’s actions, it can be seen that his narcissistic tendencies keep him from maintaining personal connections as he forms relationships solely to serve his ego. Through this we can see how narcissism can get in the way of forming and keeping meaningful relationships. 

            In the beginning of the story, we meet Grushnitsky, a friend of Pechorin. When meeting Grushnitsky, Pechorin says, “I have seen through him, and that is why he dislikes me, although outwardly we are on the friendliest of terms…I don’t like him either” (Lermontov 85). Though Pechorin and Grushnitsky both dislike each other, they still remain as “friends.” Grushnitsky even opens up to Pechorin that he likes Princess Mary and wishes to pursue her. Once Pechorin finds out that Grushnitsky is interested in Mary, he immediately starts to think of a plan to win Mary over, while outwardly acting as if he is helping Grushnitsky. Due to the need to feed his ego and show his superiority, he begins to pursue Mary. In his attempt to make her fall in love with him, he also manipulates her into disliking Grushnitsky. After a while, Pechorin and Grushnitsky begin a rivalry over Mary which leads to a duel. What ultimately leads to this duel is when Pechorin finds out that Grushnitsky made up rumors about Pechorin’s presence at Princess Mary’s residence. Throughout the story, Pechorin continuously sabotages Grushnitsky’s chances with Mary because of his need to use others to boost his ego. Through Pechorin’s eyes his actions are always justified but when Grushnitsky creates a rumor out of jealousy, it is not justifiable and requires a duel to the death. Pechorin allows his pride to fuel his energy during the duel which keeps him from realizing that his quest for satisfying his ego has gone out of proportion. He fails to see that he is about to kill his “friend” over a battle that he himself started. Although Pechorin shows no mercy, during the duel Grushnitsky decides not to kill Pechorin as killing his friend is something that would haunt him. While Grushnitsky is sparing Pechorin, Pechorin is not as forgiving as he states, “There is still time: retract your slander and I shall forgive you everything. You did not succeed in fooling me, and my self-esteem is satisfied. Remember, we were friends once…” (Lermontov 154-155). Through this we can see that Pechorin cared more about getting an apology from Grushnitsky rather than the actual duel. Pechorin wanted Grushnitsky to admit defeat and apologize, as it would boost his ego. Without considering his relationship with Grushnitsky, Pechorin ends up killing Grushnitsky to uphold his narcissistic pride. 

            As stated before, Pechorin pursues Princess Mary and makes it a mission for her to fall in love with him. Pechorin pursues Mary to mess with Grushnitsky, and to get the satisfaction of having another woman fall for him while not reciprocating those feelings. Pechorin enjoys being the center of another person’s thoughts and enjoys having control over others feelings which leads him to pursue Mary without any true feelings for her. This can be seen when he says, “I never became the slave of the women I loved; on the contrary, I have always gained unconquerable power over their will and heart, with no effort at all…Is it because I never treasured anything too much, while they incessantly feared to let me slip out of their hands?” (Lermontov 101). Pechorin plays a cat and mouse game with women by constantly pushing them away at times, and at other times, pulling them close. He manipulates them and treats them as possessions. By doing this he gets women to fall in love with him while he does not possess the same feelings. Instead by doing this he receives the validation he needs to feed his ego. When the women he pursues express their feelings for him, Pechorin feels as if his work is done as he has made another woman fall in love with him showing his superiority. When Princess Mary says that she can sacrifice anything for the one she loves, she asks Pechorin if he despises her. To this Pechorin responds, “I shall tell you the whole truth. I shall neither justify myself, nor explain my actions. I do not love you” (Lermontov 136). With these harsh words, Pechorin makes it clear that he never had any feelings for Mary and that his sole purpose in courting her was just to get attention and satisfy his ego. Having fulfilled the desire of winning Mary over, Pechorin no longer sees any use for her, and abandons her with the words, “I do not love you.”

            After turning Princess Mary away and dueling Grushnitsky, Pechorin gets the news that his old lover, Vera, was moving somewhere far away. She had admitted to her husband that she had an affair with Pechorin in the past, causing him to force her to leave. With this news, Pechorin breaks down and “like a madman” embarks on a journey to find her (Lermontov 157).  In his diary entry, Pechorin confesses his feelings for Vera saying, “Faced by the possibility of losing Vera forever, I felt that she had become dearer to me than anything in the world – dearer than life, honour, happiness!” (Lermontov 158). For once Pechorin shows that he is capable of having romantic feelings for a woman. When Pechorin realizes that he cannot reach Vera, he “[begins] crying like a child” (Lermontov 157). For the first time, Pechorin is showing vulnerability and his true emotions. Also, for the first time, he was actually fighting and trying to make a relationship work. Based on this fact, some argue that narcissists would be able to maintain relationships. While it is true that Pechorin may love Vera, it does not necessarily mean that he would be able to maintain a relationship with her. Immediately after expressing his emotions, Pechorin says, “…my thoughts had regained their usual order, I realized that to pursue perished happiness was useless and senseless… It may have been due, however, to upset nerves, to a sleepless night, to a couple of minutes spent facing the muzzle of a pistol, and to an empty stomach” (Lermontov 158). After showing his emotions for a split second, Pechorin goes back to not caring. This shows how Pechorin believes that having a true relationship is meaningless as they are “useless.” He himself cannot admit his own feelings and blames his crying on other reasons rather than admitting he was crying because of a woman. In reality, Pechorin feels this way because with Vera leaving, he found that he did not have complete control over her. Pechorin enjoys having control over others feelings as at one point he states, “To be to somebody the cause of sufferings and joys, without having any positive right to it – is this not the sweetest possible nourishment for our pride? (Lermontov 116).” Realizing that he no longer has Vera to satisfy his ego, Pechorin begins to show emotions for once. 

            Through Pechorin’s actions throughout the story, it can be seen that individuals with narcissistic tendencies would not be able to maintain relationships- whether they be with friends or romantically. It is important for people to recognize these signs of narcissism in those around them. Noticing these characteristics and signs in those around you, allow you to protect yourself and not get manipulated by those with narcissistic qualities. Unfortunately, people like Vera and Mary, as well as Grushnitsky, fell victim to a narcissist, leading to heartbreak and death. 

Works Cited

Lermontov, Mikhail. A Hero of Our Time. 1840. 

New York City- the city of dreams and endless opportunities and the city that never sleeps. For many people, living in New York City is only something they can dream of, but this is my reality. I was born and raised in New York City. My parents are immigrants from Bangladesh meaning that I am a first generation American. Just like many other people, living in New York was a dream to my parents and seeing their excitement about living here helped me to see why New York appeals to so many people. Growing up, I don’t think I really knew what it meant to be living in New York City, or how special the city was. I knew I should be grateful and excited that I could call this city my home, but why? What made it so different and special compared to all the other cities out there? As I grew older, I started to slowly understand what it truly meant to live in New York. 

 Although I was born and raised in New York City, I didn’t really start to “live” in the city until a few years ago. Growing up in the Bronx, I wasn’t exposed to what the city really had to offer. I spent the first 15 years of my life in the Bronx without really exploring the rest of the city. Of course, there was the occasional family trip into Queens or Manhattan, but those trips didn’t really teach me the true meaning of living in New York City. I grew up in a low-income neighborhood filled with minorities such as Blacks, South Asians and Hispanics. Living in the Bronx, I wasn’t exposed to the same opportunities and privileges offered to the upper-middle class of New York city. I remember watching movies like “Home Alone” as a kid wondering why the New York I lived in looked completely different than the New York shown in the movie. I remember seeing Kevin from “Home Alone” go toy shopping on his own and even go to a beautiful hotel, which I now know is The Plaza, one of the most luxurious hotels in the city. When I watched the movie I was around Kevin’s age, but why was his experience in New York completely different than mine? In the movie I saw tall, luxurious buildings but didn’t see any of this in my neighborhood. The New York shown in the movie seemed so much bigger and much more beautiful than the little neighborhood I grew up in. 

On the other hand, there were movies like “Rumble in the Bronx” and “The Warriors” that took place in the Bronx that also looked completely different than the Bronx I knew. These movies showed violence and gangs on every street and showed the Bronx as a place full of crime which I didn’t really see in my life. In these movies and many others, they always portrayed the Bronx as run-down. Based off of these movies, many people got the notion that the Bronx was defined by crime and a poor run-down neighborhood and this idea still exists today. I’ve met many people who are afraid to come to the Bronx because of the stereotypes surrounding it. When I’ve mentioned to people that I’m from the Bronx some of the first questions they ask are, “Have you ever seen anyone get shot?” or “Do you hear gunshots often?” In reality, I don’t think I’ve ever heard gunshots. This shows how the media only depicts the bad parts of the Bronx just as they often only show the good parts of Manhattan. With these experiences, I feel that at a young age I was not able to truly understand New York City, even though I had lived there my whole life.

When I started high school, I began to explore the city as I made friends from outside of the Bronx and started attending social events outside my neighborhood. After starting high school, I was able to get the freedom of being able to travel in the city alone. Though my school was in the Bronx, my friends and I were always up for an adventure after school. We would go to popular tourist spots such as Central Park and Times Square to see if they truly were as fun and amazing as people made them out to be. Going into Manhattan, I was finally able to see the luxurious apartment complexes and skyscrapers that I saw in movies as a child. I was also able to see a more diverse breakdown of people as I came in contact with people from all over the world. I was able to see people speaking many different languages and hear more of the languages I often heard in my neighborhood. Seeing these people of all ages and races altogether in one location, each living their own lives and having their own story to tell, I was in awe the more I explored New York City. This is when I began to understand why people thought of New York with such respect as I watched these people live out their dreams. I began to fall more and more in love with the city. This was my city and I felt like I had missed out on so much. I made the subconscious decision that I never wanted to leave. There was so much more that I had to explore. I knew I was a city girl so I knew I would never survive a day in the countryside. But no other city could compare to this city- the culture, the music, the views, and just everything about it is incomparable. 

Although New York has many great things about it, it also has its cons like everything else in life. Like all cities, New York City also has its fair share of homeless people, drug addicts as well as the garbage on every street corner. In Joan Didion’s Goodbye to All That, she states, “I could taste the peach and feel the soft air blowing from a subway grating on my legs and I could smell the lilac and garbage and expensive perfume…” (228). I don’t think there’s a better way to explain to someone how the streets of New York feel. The subways are such a crucial part of the city and can be found everywhere. Standing in the streets, you can feel the hot air from the passing subway that hits you in the face with the stench of the garbage. But with that, you also can smell the expensive perfume of the businesswomen passing by. 

            Seeing people that seemingly had it all to people that had nothing made me think about what it takes to live in New York City. Most people think that you have to be rich or it is overly expensive to live in New York City, but this is not something I understood growing up. In My Misspent Youth by Meghan Daum, she mentions, “I’ve historically been pretty good at getting by on what I have…” (2). This quote really spoke to me because as a kid I never really knew the financial situation of my family and how we were “getting by.” I was always well clothed and well fed and had everything I needed and wanted so I never understood how much my parents were financially struggling to live in New York City. When I became a teenager and overheard my parents talking about their financial struggles, it was only then that I was able to understand how expensive it is to live here. I would hear about how in other places, houses much bigger than mine would be much cheaper than the house we lived in. There were multiple times in which my parents would consider moving upstate so the living expenses would be cheaper.  But ultimately, we decided to stay in New York City because it’s home and irreplaceable. I could not imagine living anywhere but New York City. The struggles we faced and the things we achieved were all due to the fact that we lived in New York City, so moving seemed out of the question for me. 

            Growing up in a city that has so much to offer has been such a blessing, though it took me a while to realize it. Living in New York City is something that I am truly grateful for. The fact that my family chose to live in this city is something that I will always thank them for. From growing up in the Bronx and watching movies about the heart of the city, Manhattan, to actually being able to experience it firsthand has changed my perception of the city. Though my experience living here started a bit late, it’s something many do not ever get to experience. Oftentimes now when I hear someone speaking ill the city, I am quick to defend it. Despite the fact that New York City is not always as perfect as it seems in the movies, no other city could compare to it.