We’ve all probably met someone who only thinks about themselves and acts like the world revolves around them. People who exhibit these characteristics can be considered narcissists. Narcissists are people who have inflated egos, lack empathy and have an excessive need for admiration. Based on the characteristics that narcissists possess, they often have hard times maintaining good relationships with those around them. Pechorin from Mikhail Lermontov’s A Hero of Our Time is a prime example of a narcissist. Pechorin is a womanizer who only cares about himself. Due to his narcissistic tendencies, Pechorin pursues Princess Mary, though he has no interest in her and loves another woman named Vera. Like Pechorin, Sanin in Ivan Turgenev’s The Torrents of Spring, is also a narcissist. He feeds off the validation he gets from those around him and is always up for a challenge. Based on their actions, it can be seen that both Pechorin and Sanin’s narcissistic tendencies prevent them from maintaining personal connections as they form relationships solely to serve their ego. Through the portrayal of these two characters, we can see how narcissism can get in the way of forming and keeping meaningful relationships.
In A Hero of Our Time, we meet Grushnitsky, a friend of Pechorin. When meeting Grushnitsky, Pechorin says, “I have seen through him, and that is why he dislikes me, although outwardly we are on the friendliest of terms…I don’t like him either” (Lermontov 85). Though Pechorin and Grushnitsky both dislike each other, they still remain as “friends.” Grushnitsky even opens up to Pechorin that he likes Princess Mary and wishes to pursue her. Once Pechorin finds out that Grushnitsky is interested in Mary, he immediately starts to think of a plan to win Mary over, while outwardly acting as if he is helping Grushnitsky. Due to the need to feed his ego and show his superiority, he begins to pursue Mary. In his attempt to make her fall in love with him, he also manipulates her into disliking Grushnitsky. After a while, Pechorin and Grushnitsky begin a rivalry over Mary which leads to a duel. What ultimately leads to this duel is when Pechorin finds out that Grushnitsky made up rumors about Pechorin’s presence at Princess Mary’s residence. Throughout the story, Pechorin continuously sabotages Grushnitsky’s chances with Mary because of his need to use others to boost his ego. Through Pechorin’s eyes his actions are always justified but when Grushnitsky creates a rumor out of jealousy, it is not justifiable and requires a duel to the death. Pechorin allows his pride to fuel his energy during the duel which keeps him from realizing that his quest for satisfying his ego has gone out of proportion. He fails to see that he is about to kill his “friend” over a battle that he himself started. Although Pechorin shows no mercy, during the duel Grushnitsky decides not to kill Pechorin as killing his friend is something that would haunt him. While Grushnitsky is sparing Pechorin, Pechorin is not as forgiving as he states, “There is still time: retract your slander and I shall forgive you everything. You did not succeed in fooling me, and my self-esteem is satisfied. Remember, we were friends once…” (Lermontov 154-155). Through this we can see that Pechorin cared more about getting an apology from Grushnitsky rather than the actual duel. Pechorin wanted Grushnitsky to admit defeat and apologize, as it would boost his ego. Without considering his relationship with Grushnitsky, Pechorin ends up killing Grushnitsky to uphold his narcissistic pride.
As stated before, Pechorin pursues Princess Mary and makes it a mission for her to fall in love with him. Pechorin pursues Mary to mess with Grushnitsky, and to get the satisfaction of having another woman fall for him while not reciprocating those feelings. Pechorin enjoys being the center of another person’s thoughts and enjoys having control over other’s feelings which leads him to pursue Mary without any true feelings for her. This can be seen when he says, “I never became the slave of the women I loved; on the contrary, I have always gained unconquerable power over their will and heart, with no effort at all…Is it because I never treasured anything too much, while they incessantly feared to let me slip out of their hands?” (Lermontov 101). Pechorin plays a cat and mouse game with women by constantly pushing them away at times, and at other times, pulling them close. He manipulates them and treats them as possessions. By doing this he gets women to fall in love with him while he does not possess the same feelings. Instead by doing this he receives the validation he needs to feed his ego. When the women he pursues express their feelings for him, Pechorin feels as if his work is done as he has made another woman fall in love with him showing his superiority. When Princess Mary says that she can sacrifice anything for the one she loves, she asks Pechorin if he despises her. To this Pechorin responds, “I shall tell you the whole truth. I shall neither justify myself, nor explain my actions. I do not love you” (Lermontov 136). With these harsh words, Pechorin makes it clear that he never had any feelings for Mary and that his sole purpose in courting her was just to get attention and satisfy his ego. Having fulfilled the desire of winning Mary over, Pechorin no longer sees any use for her, and abandons her with the words, “I do not love you.”
One quality that can be seen in Pechorin is his high consideration for himself, causing him to disregard others. In Identifying and Understanding the Narcissistic Personality by Elsa Ronningstam, she states, “Another aspect of normal narcissism is self-regard…[which]… include[s] the experience of being loved by others as well as having one’s love returned and possessing the love object. While such experiences increase self-regard and self-esteem, being in love, on the contrary, and loving someone else’s challenges or lowers self-regard” (32). In other words, the author is saying that in a normal, healthy relationship, self-regard is placed second to the regard for the loved one. However, people with narcissism hold themselves to the highest regard while not considering the feelings or well-being of others. This can be seen in Pechorin’s relationship with Mary as he disregards her feelings to satisfy his ego.
At first glance Sanin from The Torrents of Spring seems very different from Pechorin, who has an outwardly narcissistic personality. Sanin is deemed a hero after he saves Gemma’s brother and duels the drunk officer in her honor. The text states, “He was suddenly possessed by a feeling of pride. A victorious general, returning from the field of battle he has won, could not have looked about him with greater self-satisfaction. Sanin’s demeanour during the duel filled him with enthusiasm. He called him a hero…” (Turgenev 31). Ever since Sanin met Gemma, he was constantly praised by her and her family for being a hero. Because of his narcissism, he feeds off their praise and approval, which is what ultimately leads him to believe he is in love with Gemma. However, Gemma is already engaged prior to meeting Sanin, though it is a business arrangement. While knowing this, Sanin still pursues Gemma because he sees her as a challenge. Thinking that he can take away an engaged woman and make her his own is something that can satisfy his ego which is why he pursues Gemma. This is also why he fought the duel for her honor. While usually it is the fiancé or husband’s place to do so, Sanin wanted to do so to boost his ego in hopes of pursuing Gemma.
When Sanin finally seduces Gemma and gets engaged to her, he meets Maria, a flirtatious half-Russian, half-Gipsy woman. Sanin is quickly captivated by Maria’s charm. The text states, “Sanin felt positively irritated; he had never walked so long with Gemma, his darling Gemma … but this lady had simply taken possession of him, and there was no escape!” (Turgenev 63). Sanin had already begun to compare his experience with Maria to his experience with Gemma. Since Gemma was a challenge he was able to conquer, it seems that as soon as a new woman showed up, Sanin changed his sights to a new target. Soon after his engagement to Gemma, Sanin has an affair with Maria. Since Gemma was no longer a challenge to Sanin, he needed someone else to boost his ego. After leaving Gemma for Maria, Sanin tries to seduce Maria but is abandoned by her. After spending forty years alone, Sanin reaches out to Gemma in America, where she is now living as a married woman with five children. He writes to Gemma saying he has realized his wrongdoings and asks for forgiveness. In his letter he states, “You will be doing a good action worthy of your noble soul, and I shall thank you to my last breath…” (Turgenev 81). Sanin in a way tries to manipulate Gemma into forgiving him by saying it would be like a good deed if she did so. He uses this manipulation to validate himself for taking action in asking her for forgiveness. Weeks later, it was rumored that Sanin was preparing to move to America to visit Gemma. Here, it can be seen that Sanin prioritizes his need for closure with Gemma, while disregarding how she may feel. Even after 40 years, he believes that he is entitled to another chance with Gemma and to validate these feelings he is even willing to go to America. Like Pechorin, in this situation, Sanin disregards Gemma’s emotions, and only thinks about how he feels, showing how narcissists prioritize their needs over others without considering how it may affect others.
After using women to boost their egos, both Pechorin and Sanin end up alone. Because of their narcissism, they are unable to maintain a relationship with those around them. In “Loneliness contributes to self-centeredness for sake of self-preservation,” the author states, “If you get more self-centered, you run the risk of staying locked in to feeling socially isolated.” In other words, the article says that those who are self-centered, such as those with narcissistic qualities, have a higher chance of being secluded from others. This is because once they use others to satisfy their egos, they push these people away, as they no longer see a use for them. They do not consider the needs or emotions of the opposite party leading them to becoming socially isolated. This is clearly seen in both Pechorin and Sanin’s cases as they use Mary and Gemma, respectively, to satisfy their egos and once they feel this satisfaction, they push the women away. After they discard the women, they are ultimately left alone as their narcissism got in the way of them keeping these relationships.
Through Pechorin and Sanin, it can be seen that individuals with narcissistic tendencies are unable to maintain relationships- whether they be with friends or romantic interests. Their narcissistic tendencies of high self-regard with no consideration for others leads them to only use people to satisfy their egos, and then abandon them and move on to the next person. Although each new person that the narcissists pursue are seen as a challenge to them, in reality, moving from one person to another is causing social isolation in these narcissists. The narcissists may think they have many acquaintances around them because they have interacted with many people, but they actually have no true relationships as they do not treat the other party as equal to themselves. This ultimately leaves them to be alone as they move from one person to another, causing the person being pushed away to feel abandoned and not close to the narcissist at all. It is important for people to recognize these signs of narcissism in those around them. Noticing these characteristics and signs, allows you to protect yourself and not get manipulated by those with narcissistic qualities. Unfortunately, people like Grushnitsky and Mary, as well as Gemma, fell victim to a narcissist, leading to heartbreak and even in some cases death.
Works Cited
Lermontov, Mikhail. A Hero of Our Time. 1840.
Turgenev, Ivan. The Torrents of Spring. 1872.
“Loneliness contributes to self-centeredness for sake of self-preservation.” NewsRx Health & Science, 2 July 2017, p. 112. Gale Academic OneFile, https://link.gale.com/apps/doc/A496765024/AONE?u=cuny_ccny&sid=AONE&xid=75d70acf. Accessed 12 Dec. 2020.
Ronningstam, Elsa F. Identifying and Understanding the Narcissistic Personality. Oxford University Press, Incorporated, 2005.
